Wednesday, May 13, 2009

The morning of May 12, 2009

I wrote an email today. It's subject was "Too Lazy to Make This Blog Worthy." I sent it to my parents. And a couple of friends. The reply from one friend in particular prompted me to post it after all.

My original email:

I am too lazy to write this all with wit and drama and to turn it into a blog post but I just had an eventful last ten minutes or so. A couple of pieces of ice hit outside my classroom window so I went out and snapped a picture.
I then carried on as usual exploring Facebook as "prep" for the day. At 8:30 I left my room to go to the main school for morning meeting.

On the way there I heard a couple of dogs squealing and a couple of dogs howling. I looked in the direction of the dogs and thought I would see them being fed or something. They were not. No person was around them. Then I started to count. Two howling. One barking. Couldn't see the squealer. I got closer and realized a puppy had fallen into the river. It seems it was checking out the ice I was looking at just moments before. The ice had moved past; but, a puppy was paddling madly at the edge.

I did NOT grab my camera to get the shot, I picked up the puppy first. And then held it to my chest. It was shaking. Its little heart beating very rapidly. Clearly it was cold. I tried to track down the owner (the Joekays) but in addition to NOT being at the school it seems they weren't even awake. I knocked for a while and then took the puppy home and wrapped it in a blanket.
Once content in the classroom with a blanket and heater I went home to change my clothes. The dog didn't intentionally do its business on me or anything but I would have felt quite silly finishing up the day with the remains of the rescue on me.
And now that this story is told here's the final picture of rescue and rescuer.
So yes yes, it's a cute little story but worthy enough of taking my blog out of early retirement before the new summer adventures? Nah.

But then my roomie Erin and I got to talking. The conversation went something like this:

Erin: hey, are you ever going to post on your blog again?

Christina: Yeah, probably this summer. From my new road trip and all.

Erin: You should post now.

Christina: That's funny because I was just thinking about my blog after that whole puppy-incident this morning.

Erin: Yeah... you should do that.

Christina: eh... I have so much other work to do...

So that's step one of why I am posting... because... really... screw work.

But the other reason for this post is to introduce you to my new special friend. Somehow I managed to find an intelligent, attractive, snarky guy who has shown some interest in my life recently. Go figure.

This morning he had the following to say in an email:

"Glad all is well with the pup. I can see this being a family-friendly
adventure movie. Probably from the Mouse House. I'm writing the
trailer now. Ideally, Don LaFontaine would have done this
trailer--but he died last year."

He then went on to create a trailer of my experience. And because... well as I said... screw work... have decided to reenact the story for you here. The following words are his:

(open with pictures of happy Yupik frolicing with their dogs as happy
music plays--Beethoven's Pastoral Symphony,

NARRATOR: In a world where ice and snow rule, anything can happen.
Even to dogs.

(discordant note sounds as we cut to pictures of dogs running across the snow)

NARRATOR: And when the spring thaw comes. All bets are off.

PATRICK: The river's headed higher! It's gonna flood!

(cut to pictures of pup falling into the water, sounds of yelping, etc.)

NARRATOR: Only one woman can save him!

(heroic music, perhaps the score from "Superman" plays)

CHRISTINA: I'll save him!

ERIN: No, Christina! It's too dangerous! Think of leaving Michael alone!

(Christina looks skyward, and is shot from below like a scene from The

CHRISTINA: Heros can't worry about the future.

TOWNSPEOPLE engage in rhubarb. One is heard saying "She's right."

(cut to Christina running along the shore in slo-mo, like Pamela
Anderson in the titles of "Baywatch." In fact, let's have the theme
from "Baywatch" playing. Or the theme from "Chariots of Fire.")

(cut to dog yelping, looking helpless)

(cut to pictures of worried townspeople)

(cut to Christina swimming through a field of icebergs to rescue the dog)

(more shots of worried townspeople)

(over these shots the Narrator speaks)

NARRATOR: Teacher. Smartaleck. Savior. The fate of an innocent dog
rests in her hands.

CHRISTINA: I'm coming pup!

(shot of Patrick hugging Erin)

(more shots of worried townspeople)

(Christina comes ashore with the pup)

CHRISTINA: He's safe!

(crowd cheers, Patrick hugs Christina. Dramatic music plays, the
theme to Dragonheart)

CHRISTINA (narrowing eyes): Until next time!

NARRATOR: This film has not yet been rated.

CHRISTINA: I love being a hero. (looks at the spot on her shirt)
It's the dirty laundry I can't stand.


So here's hoping that the next several blogs posts are able to be as spiced up and entertaining as this one. One can only hope my friend, Michael, will continue to bless me with his unique ability to make my mundane life seem picture worthy.

And... that, as they say, is the final moneyshot of this blog entry.


Shibby said...


I'd definitely pay $9 to see that. Sounds like probably not summer blockbuster material, but for sure a solid Thanksgiving weekend family-friendly offering. I'm predicting a sweep of the Kid's Choice Awards.

Have you sold the rights?

Ay'atang'aq said...


When will it aire?

Auntie Kiki said...

Nice trailer, Michael. Such a great story too, Christina. Sorry I hadn't had a chance to respond to your email yet. I think you need to keep that pup. It's like kismet... ;-)

Nicole said...

Nice. I LOVED IT!!!!

b.r. said...

That is absolutely one of the raddest blog posts I've read.